London Tube Terror: Eyebrows

The thing about a bus-train-tube-walk travel to work everyday, is that you see a lot of people on a daily base. Most of them looking tired and grumpy, for which I can't blame them - I'm not a morning person either. But I do like to watch what everybody is up to, on their early mornings. Because often, there's lots to see and even more to learn. 

As most females know, when you're lazy (like me), you rather spend a couple more minutes snoozing in your comfy bed, than making an effort on your appearance. Therefore, some girls prefer to do their hair and/or make-up on their way to school or work. I usually like to watch them, to see what kind of products they use and how they use them. 

Not today.

As I got on my train and sat down, I saw the girl in front of me finishing off her 'look' by applying some lipstick. But before I could even see what color it was, I got distracted by something else. I literally couldn't get my eyes off her eyebrows. Now I do admit I have a unhealthy obsession with (perfect) brows, but nevertheless, this crossed the line. Big time. 

I know that your eyebrows make your face, but please let me clarify, that does not mean you need to make (read: fake) your eyebrows. Defining your eyebrows is not the same as stamping them on in sharpie/permanent marker-style. In a dark room. Without a mirror. 

'Eyebrows are meant to be sisters, not twins'. I don't care what they are, all that I care for is that I sincerely hope that they are far from related to you darling. Now get yourself a make-up wipe, take that shit off your face and let's start fresh. Alright, now look at yourself. I know the only thing you want to do is to make yourself look pretty, but trust me, drawing two thick black Ukrainian moustaches on your forehead won't do the job.

First, the color. As your hair is beautifully ash(tray) blonde, with a classy auburn 'soon-to-be-ombre' at the roots, I dont think black is your color. Not sure about your skintone though. According to your neck it's a lovely soft porcelain pale, but the cracking orange on your face tells me something else. Why don't you just take a natural brown pencil, and start with that? Now slightly fill in your brows, make sure they fade from a lighter shade at the beginning into a slightly darker tone towards the end. Now brush them through and set them with some eyebrowgel. Yes, that does exist. Yes, it indeed ís gel for your eyebrows. And yes it's awesome. Better? Better.

She put away her lipstick and grabbed her iPhone. I could hear her long baby blue nails ticking on the screen like raindrops on a window. I felt bad for her.

I honestly have no idea why these girls think they look prettier with such terrible brows on their lovely faces. And don't even get me started about the so-called 'sperm-brows' or other black pages in eyebrow history. We all know where that got us, don't we.
Indeed, nowhere.

Saving the world, one eyebrow at a time.